WARNING

How do you do? Mr. E. Lopez feels it would be a little unkind to present this shit without just a word of friendly warning: We are about to unfold the story of The Untossable Salad, a mind in peril that sought to create volumes of nonsense without reckoning upon God. It is one of the strangest libraries ever presented. It deals with the two great maladies of creation: annoyance and alcohol. I think it will thrill you. It may shock you. It may even horrify you. So, if any of you feel that you do not care to subject your nerves to such a strain, now’s your change to, uh, well…we warned you.

Yes. This directly from the opening of Carl Laemmle’s “Frankenstein”, then edited to my own needs. Deal with it, fucker. Don’t sue me…